Satu kebenaran

Ingat tak there were a post that I've mentioned Dania kene gigit by her friend from the nursery?

Nama budak tuh Kimi, a year younger than Dania.
He is a type of boy yang suka sakat orang, tak makan saman.
He can just pinch these kids in front of the parents and it's happened in front of me once.
I was just a few step from the nursery door, he pushed Dania but Dania look at me and said 'Biarkan kan, Mama?'..errr
This time I was about to meet Kimi's parents and I just want to show them the bruises that Dania had.
I just wanna tell them that not only Dania, but their other friends also got bitten and hit by Kimi.

Today I had a chat with the nursery principal while waiting for Dania to finish her dinner.
I just found that Kimis's parents are OKU.
That's explain why Kimi is unstoppable.
His parents not able to talk and listen to him.
Suddenly I feel sad for him.
According to Anne, but Kimi is a smart boy,and he can understand his parents sign language.

Sedihkan...
Takpelah Kimi, Dania pon dah nak pindah sekolah dah..
I have no idea where to send Dania after this.
I owe this Taska alot . Very much indeed.
They have been so patience with Dania during her casting time & her FAB time.
They have been looking after Dania when I was sick and hospitalised.
I do not know how to handle my emotion on Dania's last day at Bintang hatiku.
They have been great to us.
Tadi pon they all suapkan Dania makan dulu although they are about to breaking fast.
I've been reminding Dania that we are moving house and Dania also need to change school.
She seems to accept it..

Can't she just continue schooling at PH??

The Magic of 3009..

Another emotional birthday..my 3rd birthday after the 'BIG' surgery..

Alhamdullilah, I'm still here and still blogging...hehe

Alhamdullilah for all the blessing years..

Thank you Ya Allah, Thank you Ya Rahman, Thank you Ya Rahim..

Alhamdullilah, Alhamdullilah, Alhamdullilah...

It is not easy for me, but I take it slowly..

When I was about to break down, I have to look around me and tried to calm down..

Sometimes I've failed..

Recently I have a severe headache due to workload..

I had to be back at work on 5th Raya and a lots of things need to be done..

Now, I'm working alone, direct report to Head Dept..

All burden is on me and my boss has no time for me at all..

I have no assistant and no co-colleague..

I will give in for another 6 months, if they failed to help me, I think I need to move on..anywhere..

Another thing is my both hand getting weak again..

Our new house, photo taken months ago..recently takde masa nak ambil gambar, sebab busybody pegi rounding nak tengok how the neighbour starts their renovation..

We had our house key finally and had our house inspection with the developer.

Banyak jugak defect and we also asked the developer to repaint the whole house...:)

Nasib ko lah..and the ulat construction is making me vomit blood..uwekkk..

After checking the house, we fetch Dania from nursery.

Dania insist on getting me a love cake.

So she and her Babah walk around Taipan and finally found a yummy-licious love cake from Baskin Robbins.

I wanted to eat Steam Fish at Sri Ayuthaya in Taipan and so we went there for my birthday dinner.

Having a talkative girl right now, Dania is enjoying herself at the dinner.

She was panicked when the waitress took away the cake from us.
She fell down when she was trying to get down from her chair after she saw that the waitress was doing something to the cake.

Muka member dah start sedih sebab sakit jatuh..:D

We told her that kakak is cutting the cake, and she is even look more sad, and she said quietly 'Janganlah potong kek birthday mama..'

I had a good dinner with my loved ones ..:D

And Dania is the one who gets so excited to cut the cake ...

When My other Soul is Away..eh he is back!

I'm taking half day leave today...

Today that I'm gonna see my new handbag, Dania's Elmo...hehehe

Pagi2 dah pesan dengan Dania, we are going to fetch Babah & Don't sleep..She said okay..

Usually I failed to make her defer her nap time...But today she is a good girl..

According to her babysitter,she told her friends, she wants to fetch her Babah..but the time I reached her nursery, she already asked for her pillow..I'm late by 30 mins (I hate Persiaran Kewajipan!!!)

So, it's already 1.30pm and we are heading to KLIA.

I told Dania, she can now sleep while I'm driving, she said 'takpelah, Dania tak ngantuk'.

But finally half way to KLIA, she already sleeping.

When Babah is ready at Gate 4, I woke her up and told her Babah is here.

She replied (sleepy mode) Abah jauh pon, lambat lagi..

Then her Babah called her name, she weakly smiled back and continue sleeping..

Kesian betul.

We went to Ayam Kampung to tapau lunch & went home.

2 big bags are officially open.

Dania saw her Elmo while I got to see a lots of BAGS!!!!

Not all mine by the way.

I teased her that Abah left her new clothes, she is so sad and she asked why.

Nasib baik tak nangis mcm semalam.

Now she is able to show her 'rindu' but she not able to express it clearly.

Yesterday was the peak of her 'rindu', she pretend taking a train to see her Abah.

She brought in Kueh Raya for Babah to eat, her piano to sing along with Abah.

Penuh train tuh dengan things that she want bring for Babah..

She waived at me and says 'see you, Mama. Dania nak jumpa Babah'.

She is so excited until I told her, 'If you go, Mama will be left alone'.

Then, she get off from her train, and sit next to me..:D

Sangat phycho..kehkeh

I heart this.

Got an advance birthday gift from my other half.

Paling penting tak beli kat FO...Hehe..best best..:D

Thank you darling, jgn serik eh???

Husband said Coach store manager in SFO is a Malaysian. Best tuh, hehe.

Wei, Dania cakap Acik ponya Bag tertinggal pon...mesti ada pon hujung sentence dia..:D

Dania tido with her Elmo since 5.30pm until now (10pm) tak bangun lagik..Sapa yang jetlag ni??? Tido siap pakai baju baru & skirt baru...ecececeh

Simpati

Few days ago, I've got an update from my friend's problem.

She said, she has done almost everything and now she is redha.

Things are totally different.

They no longer talk to each other, no eye contact etc.

His heart is no longer at home.

Whatever she does to win his heart again is consider acting, insincere and it's too late.

He only see her bad side and he totally forgot her dedication to the family for more than 15 years.

Now they started to sleep separately.

The kids start to accept this faith.

She cried when she told me this.

I can't do much.

I can only listen.

It could happen to me.

When love is no longer there.

Too much influenced from this story, and too much lesson that I've learned.

My other half don't like it.

Minta dijauhkan.

What I have now is more than enough.

Penat

Sebenarnye Raya ni yg paling penat dan yang paling stress..

Time raya orang2 ni gatal nak launch keta baru..ngarut!

Time raya ni aku kejar semua org..

Bila lah rasanya nak berhenti buat semua ni..

Penat mengejar deadline..

Penat entertain all calls..

Penat dengan segala operation issues..
Penat dengan perangai boss yang ntah haper2, bankers yg remeh-temeh..

Harini aku,

Penat mengejar masa..

Penat terkejar masa untuk pick up anak untuk elak kene OT yg banyak..

Penat chase bank untuk disburse rumah baru..

Penat chase lawyer melayu bodoh yang explanation ntah haper2..

Penat buat calls, transfer calls, dengar alasan developer, bank & lawyer...

Hari ni belajar sesuatu baru..

Kita terlalu sibuk mengejar masa sehingga lupa menjaga hati sendiri..

Kita terlalu sibuk untuk menyenangi hidup orang lain sehingga diri sendiri yang dapat susah...

Kita terlalu sibuk itu ini..cerita duniawi yang tak pernah sudah..

Hingga terlupa Allah sedang memerhati..

Satu hari nanti aku nak rehat dari berfikir berterusan..

Rehat dari kesibukan.

Rehat dari menjadi ibu..

Rehat dari menjadi isteri..

Rehat dari menjadi kawan..

Rehat dari menjadi hamba kerja..

Rehat dari jadi kepochi..

Nak rehat nak rehat nak rehat..

err bile tuh?

When my other soul is away..Part 1

Bukan tak biasa, cuma boring sebab takde manusia yg boleh faham apa yg nak kubebelkan..

Kalau cerita kat Dania, she will asked u back..

Then she will keep on continue asking the same question although u've given her the answer..

'Babah pegi mana??' (soalan ini dalam 10x)

'Babah, nak jumpa Dania tak??'

'Babah, keje apa jauh2?'

'Bile Babah nak bangun tido, telefon Dania?'

'Babah naik plane, tak bawak mama dengan Dania pon'..

'Bile Babah nak balik?'

The list is growing..

Harini, soalan lain pulak.

'Mama, Babah ada beli baju Dania tak?'

'Kesian Babah, tak makan sama-sama Dania...'

Tapi Dania, Babah dah start shopping untuk kita..yeyeye

Suka suka suka..:D

Raya Part 2

I'm so in love with my version of Nasi Briyani Malas...

So easy, tak leceh & you just need 2 hours to prepare the dishes..of course u need to do it all and multitasking..

The dishes - Ayam Masak Merah, Kari Dhall & Sayur, Salad Timun Nenas.

Nasi Briyani versi Simple ( ikut sikit2 ajek petua Chef Wan ponya pesan)...

Tak tahu nak bagi recipe becoz the quantum of the ingredients just as much as I thought.

Bak kata orang secukup rasa, or Che Wan campak2 ajek..kehkehkeh..

If you are wondering, why i called it malas..
Less time spent..

Preparation is so simple..

Less than 2 hours..Hari ni tragic, gas habis while I'm just started to cook the briyani..

Dah 2x masak, satu pon my other half belum rasa lagik..

Kesian betul babah Dania..I finished my cooking just 30 mins after he is gone with the airport taxi..

Dania keep on asking Abah pegi mana, more than 10x time for every e-conversation with her babah..

Yang paling best, 'Abah nak jumpa Dania tak?'..

isk isk..soalan mencabar minda..

My 3 years doter can't stop asking, questioning and converse non stop.

Esok, goreng mee ajek..meh lah datang..:D

Raya Part 1

Few days before Raya, I managed to prepare 6 sets of brooches for Dania's babysitter at her nursery. For the past few years, I've been giving them Kain for Baju Kurung but this year I don't have much time to choose the kain.

A day before Raya, ingatkan balik Seremban nak tolong mak masak, tapi sampai2 aje tolong kacau rendang ajek..iskk

Tapi sempat jugak masak kuah lodeh & kuah kacang. (itupon mak alter sebab kuah pekat sangat, kehkeh)..Ayah ordered lemang from his friend...

The last time I saw my other half wearing Baju Melayu complete with samping was on our wedding day (almost 8 years ago!!)..itupon he left his songkok at home and managed to buy one at Bazaar Ampangan...:D

That is the only Baju Raya that he bought for himself.. Sampai SFO boleh pulun shopping ye boss..:D

Dania knew that she has tudung to match with her baju raya..cesss

I guess she has improved a lot this year. She has been socializing, chatting with her cousins but as usual, do not disturb her nap time. She had a great time playing bunga api with her cousins and of course by herself alone.

The sweetest of all, she gave us this. Her artwork from nursery. Our first Kad Raya from Dania.

Salam Aidilfitri

Today is already 3rd Hari Raya..baru nak wish but bak kata orang better late than never..



Salam Aidilfitri untuk semua my blog readers..
Maaf Zahir & Batin, halalkan makan & minum..
Maafkan terkasar bahasa yang pasti ada..
Tersinggung pon banyak, biasalah lumrah manusia yang suka komplen..:D

Dari Ina, Imran & Insyirah..:D

Elmo & 4th September

Last Friday, we received a letter from our developer saying that they are ready to deliver the house as soon as we clear the outstanding amount which consist of late penalty charges, electricity, water, quit rent, maintenance fee, etc etc..we also need to chase the bank to disburse the last payment.

On Saturday morning, we decided to have a look at the house . We saw the water meter is ready, and we've met future neighbour 2 blocks away from our house.

That Kakak is using our house as their model for renovation.

Yeah people can go into my house & out freely but as soon as I got the keys, I'll lock the house, tunggu lah..:p

We have a guard living in the house and he is an Indian muslim.
As long as no damage to our property, I have no say.

That Kakak told us that they were charged almost RM4k for late penalty charges and they bought the property as same time as ours and they plan to move in on Oct. Our behind neighbour is an Indian Family. Wondering who would be my next door neighbour..tak kisah pon cuma curious to know ajek..hehe

We've met some of the contructors hanging around our house. Isk isk..Wait lah, we still need to beranakkan duit ni..we've already spent most of our money paying the downpayment & stamp duty..

We just need to do some minor extension at the back of the house, & built the behind wall.

Apekahal lah lah kat belakang dorang tak teruskan brick wall tuh..cesss..

Dania's Babah bought Elmo tix 2 weeks before the show..
3 months ago he said we don't hv to bring Dania to the show since Dania only knew Elmo but not his friends...

But he changed his mind few weeks ago and we managed to get quite good seat although it is not at the centre.

Yeah we saw Sheila Majid, her spouse & their kids at the show.

Not so many Malay audience in the afternoon show. Busy last minute shopping kot.

Earlier on, we went to SACC Mall but we surrenderred & went home for Dania's nap before the show.

We had our Iftar session on that day at my SIL's house.

Today, my other half finally bought his Baju Melayu with Samping (ehem!)..

We will be in green theme this year.

1 Malaysia

Satu petang,

DI : Mama, nak keluar, nak main dengan kakak (cucu or anak org sebelah).

Mama : ok, (bukak pintu & pagar).

DI tunggu kat pagar, and I heard.

DI : Kakak, jom main? 3x (while kakak busy playing with her friend, a Non-Malay boy)

That boy : Do you speak English?

DI : No

That boy : So, kau cakap bahasa apa? Bahasa Melayu?

DI : No

That boy : So, kau cakap bahasa indon?

DI : No

That boy : We speak English only.

DI : (Nod her head, she looked very sad).

Then DI ran to the backyard.

Kakak : Adik, bagi kakak biskut kucing tuh. Kakak nak bagi kucing makan.

DI : ok, here u go (eh she can speak english).

Kakak : Eh *Raju (not real name), catch that cat, and bring it to me (bossy type of girl).

All cats running around the backyard trying to escape.

DI : Runnn cat runnnn...

Both Kakak & that boy bengang.All cats escaped.

Mama's statement :

1. We both conversed in both English & Malay with her but most of the time is in Malay.
DI nursery is a very typical Malay nursery but we are happy with her progress.
There are times when she tried to speak in english with us but most of the time, we heard germans.hahaha. In my company, it doesn't matter how you well u've mastered in English or Japanese or what not.language can be learned but positive attitude most matters.

2. My heart is about to tell that boy, so what if she can't speak English that well like you do? She is only 3 yrs old, why you need to discriminate her? btw the way DI, tak rugi pon kalau tak kawan dgn mamat ni and also that kakak (her guardian pon bukan jenis bercampur ponya neighbour unlike previous one).

3. DI patiently stood at the fence, waiting for that kakak to respond her. Sabar ajek menunggu. Now she's trying to make friends with her cousins, & next door neighbour. I just watched her and offered her to come in and watch cartoon. She stood still, and waiting.

Now i feel like to bring Dania flying to London.hahaha.dan dan ajek.

Jalur Gemilang...tempat mu berkibaran di angkasa dan bukan untuk dipijak...

Kasut

I need a pair of new shoe for work.

Currently i only have 4 shoes (2 for heavy duty, another 2 for light duty) not excluding jogging shoes of course.

My current heavy duty shoes are all ugly but yet so comfy.

I need to have a good shoe with thick padding for heel.

Bukan nak berlagak, but indeed I'm no longer can buy shoes sold in Vincci, Nose, Esarli etc etc

Today I've added 1 new shoe for the heavy duty & 1 more for light duty.

Define heavy duty : comfortable when u r running, jumping & climbing the stairs. Yes, I'm speeding when I'm walking.Durable for long working hours.

Define light duty : Shoe for show only. Example, I only need this shoe when I'm attending dinner, wedding, meetings that need to wear 'covered shoes' or special event.

As you know, Dania has a very special feet.

Her right feet is 1 size smaller than the left one.
Currently we bought her any shoes that we think both feet can comfortably fits.

For casual, currentky she has Kid's Classic from Crocs for jalan2 & Adidas sandal for her nursery.

For smart, we usually asked her to wear her Sophia from Crocs.

Yes, she has a jogging shoe. All of her shoes are meant for heavy duty.

There was one entry that I've blogged about our struggle to get her a new shoe.

She can throw her tantrums right away if we asked her to try those potential shoes.

In short, she know what she wants.

Today, we bought her a Barbie shoe for Raya.

Surprisingly she agreed and keep on trying the shoe until we find the right size.

We hope she will stay this way.

Yes, girly type of shoe. Paling penting murah & selesa...:D

For unilateral clubfoot parents out there, we need to buy their shoes based on their normal feet size.

But not too big, nanti the other feet asyik terkeluar ajek.
Kesian pulak tengok. Don't be surprise if you need to buy more shoes for them.

In US, most of the parents bought 2 pairs (with different sizes) for ther unilateral clubfoot child.

Note : yeah we r going to watch Elmo.

Persiapan Raya

Have u done yours?

Me & Dania is almost ready. Since Dania berkenan to my anak tudung Ariani, I'm gonna pass to her. I'll buy another one for me.cehhh alasan.Apsal ntah dia berkenan yang ada silk awning.

For the 1st time, Dania has 2 baju kurung. Other than that she has 3 dresses (bought in BKK & it's cheappp!), 1 jeans & 1 tshirt. Cukup ker ni since this kenit dah start pandai macam2.Nak dijadikan cerita, the tailor need to re-sew her thai silk baju kurung since the 1st measurement is too small.kepala pon tak boleh masuk. Oh ye kasut dia lom beli.

My other half like any other years. Mmg lambat beli apa2.He started buying his new baju melayu only since Dania arrival. Oh ya this year colour theme is GO GREEN.cehh color green ajek pon.

Gambar dia atas is not the green thai silk that we will be wearing on 1st raya. That is impromptu purchase. Thought to buy for her another baju kurung to compensate her baju kurung Thai silk yg muat2 ajek tuh. Sekali ada sepasang sedondon dgn mama dia. Rembat ajek lah tanpa pikir panjang.

Biskut raya? I bought a lots of pineapple tarts & semperit this yr. 2 jenis ni ajek aku beli. Do u know where to find good taste of kerepek?

Rumah? No new curtains (initial thought to get another pair), no new sofas since we r moving to our new house soon.so jangan membazir.eh mahal ek langsir Baagus tuh.macam bagus sangat pon..:p

Talking about new home, we still not getting the keys. I dont think we gonna have it before raya because raya is just another 2 weeks away. Kalau iye pon ada ker org nak pindah? eh ada kot. yg tak pose & yg tak raya can pindah before us.

We just got our August salary plus advance (75% of the mthly salary). Boleh lah tuh.My other half is leaving to SFO a week after raya. I just wanna a new Coach.hehehe

I just love this ramadhan.

The Scar

The scar to remind me that I was given a 2nd chance..and now living on 3rd chance.

Dania's scar to remind me that nothing can beat our struggle and her tolerance.

Again, need to remind myself to slow down.

Need to remind myself that I've surrounded with lovely people and their doa..

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I had a spooky dream yesterday..very bad dream...

Usually all of my bad dream in Ramadhan month used to become true..

Taubat Nasuha

Repentance a bountiful blessing

Imam Suhaib Webb reflects on Ramadan.




As the warm breeze of Ramadan settles, we are reminded of the Prophet’s statement, ‘Upon the arrival of Ramadan the gates of Paradise are opened, the gates of Hell are closed and the devils are chained.’ Ramadan brings with it a host of possibilities. Look at it as a chance to enter into a garden filled with fresh fruits, luscious vegetables and beautiful flowers. Some will fill their baskets to the brim, others will fill them half way, and some will fail to fill their baskets with anything.

Those who filled their baskets will have done so with a varied harvest; some choosing the best the garden has to offer, while others simply settle for those of a lesser quality. One of the best fruits we can reap during this month is one of the most difficult to attain. Its fruit is not found on the ground having fallen from a tree, nor is it found amongst the lower branches. This fruit is found at the highest part of the tree and getting to it takes effort, patience and most importantly truthfulness with oneself. This is the fruit of repentance and reflection. ‘Repent to God, oh believers, and you will be successful.’

Success is a tough word

Success is a tough word, it haunts us at work, home and school. And like a beneficial medicine, it is not easy to swallow. The reality of success is that it is anchored in the tangible; it is not a theoretical enterprise, but, as we say in the United States, “requires one to strap on his boots”.

The Arabs understood this well, thus the word for success falah is associated with the one who farms or harvests al-falaah because the latter cannot come without diligence and hard work. So, repentance is a substantial enterprise, an effort, a struggle towards spiritual inventory. Caliph Umar said, “Audit yourselves before you are audited by God.” Hassan, the Prophet’s grandson also explains this concept. He said, “Those who have the easiest time in the hereafter are those who are keen to call themselves to account in this life.”

Returning to God while struggling to swim the deep seas of life is a difficult enterprise, no one likes to hear bad things about themselves. But if we are able, during this blessed month, to sit and audit ourselves, to take account of our spiritual principals; investigating our true state and relation with God, family and others, we will have reaped the fruits of a blessed harvest; setting the stage for a new course in our relationship with the Most Merciful. Once the Prophet ascended the pulpit and at each step he was heard saying, “Ameen”. Later the companions enquired about the Prophet’s statement upon which he responded that Gabriel came to him supplicating against three types of people, one was he who failed to repent during the month of Ramadan thereby failing to be forgiven for his sins.

Overcoming the Obstacles

There are a number of obstacles that lurk hidden for the one who seeks repentance. Perhaps the greatest is the feeling of fear and despondence. Many feel that it is simply too late to change: “I’ve done my dirt and there is simply no way to get back on track.”

Firstly, let’s understand that sinning is part of human nature. The Prophet, peace be upon him said, “Every person commits sins. And the best sinners are those who repent.” Many have claimed that the feelings of profound guilt and depression regarding their state, chain them from turning to God. This is one of the greatest tricks of the Devil; closing the door of hope to God’s mercy after sinning. Once a man came to the mosque of the Prophet complaining about his sins; the man was so overcome and saddened by his state that the Prophet said to him, “Say this: O God, your forgiveness is greater than my sins and my hope in Your mercy is greater to me than my [evil] actions.”

The man said this and the Prophet said to him, “Say it again.” The man repeated it, then the Prophet said to him, “Say it again.” The man did it and the Prophet said to him, “Arise for, indeed, God has forgiven you!”

For this reason Ibn Kathir reports that the Prophet, upon him be peace, said about the verse, “Say [Muhammad] to My servants who have transgressed against themselves, do not despair of God’s mercy. Indeed, God forgives all sins and He is the One who forgives and is Merciful”, “It is more beloved to me than anything under the Heavens and on Earth.”

Secondly, sins should be seen as a strategy for one to turn in humility back to God. One of the early scholars said that, “A person could enter Paradise because of a sin he committed.” Upon hearing this, his student challenged him by asking, “How could that be?” The scholar responded: “The sinner persistently thinks about it, which causes him to fear it, regret it, weep over it and feel humiliated in front of his Lord due to it. He stands before God, broken-hearted, with his head lowered in humility. So this sin is more beneficial to him than doing many acts of obedience, since it caused him to have humility and humbleness – which leads to his happiness and success – to the extent that this sin prevents him from entering Paradise.”

Thirdly, rebounding from sin is one of the simple fruits related to our success. If we were to ask many people what it was that brought them back to faith, many would mention a mistake they made in the past. The Prophet said, “Repentance is regret.” That regret is one of our greatest fears. In reality, however, it is a mercy from God which pricks at our conscience until we ultimately return to Him.

God says, “And [He also forgave] the three who were left behind [and regretted their error] to the point that the Earth closed in on them in spite of its vastness, and their souls confined them and they were certain that there is no refuge from God except in Him. Then He turned to them so they could repent. Indeed, God is the Accepting of repentance, the Merciful.” (9:118) Notice the wording at the end of this verse “Then He turned to them so they could repent.” Thus, repentance doesn’t start with the sinner, but begins when God turns to him with His mercy, love and compassion; awakening his heart with guilt, gently guiding him to His forgiveness. The sinner was lost in a sea of confusion and misery and God found him, guided him and forgave him.

The Prophet, upon him be peace, said: “God has greater joy at the repentance of one His servants when he turns towards Him than one of you would have over his mount, which, having escaped from him saddled with food and drink in the middle of the desert, so that he has despaired of finding it and gone to a tree to lie down in its shade, it suddenly appears standing by him while he is in that state, so that he takes its reins and then says out of the intensity of his joy, ‘O God, You are my slave and I am Your Lord!’ getting confused because of his intense joy.”

Fourth, I’ve done so many things in the past and failed to repent. How is it that, after all of these years, I could face God with such a blackened record? The Prophet, upon him be peace, said, “God the Mighty and Majestic accepts the repentance of His servant as long as his death-rattle has not begun.” Thus, no matter when, as long as one turns to God seeking His forgiveness, only then can that person expect to be forgiven.

Furthermore, there is no sin greater than God’s ultimate mercy and forgiveness. The Prophet, upon him be peace said:”God the Almighty has said: ‘O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me, and hope in Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds in the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I shall forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with an earthful of sins and were you then to face Me, without having associated anything with Me, I shall grant you an earthful of pardon.’”

Ibn Rajab noted that this Prophetic tradition begins with “O son of Adam” because of its context, repentance and forgiveness. Thus, when one despairs over his mistakes and shortcomings, he should recall God’s favour upon mankind, exercised upon their forefather Adam. Thus, just as Adam repented to his Lord and, as noted in the Qur’an, “He immediately forgave him,” his offspring should do the same.

The Qualities of Repentance

Scholars noted that sound repentance should be coupled with the following qualities: 1) Leaving the sin 2) Regret, and 3) Resolving never to return to the sin again.

The month of Ramadan is a time of serious reflection, increased awareness and devotion. Its beginning is mercy and its ending is marked by forgiveness and salvation. Let us take advantage of this time to set aright our affairs, rebounding from our mistakes and sins from the past. Let us turn to the Most Merciful.

www.suhaibwebb.com/blog>

END

Got this from Maher Zain FB..
Ingatan untuk diri sendiri..insya allah..

Never lose hope

Whenever I'm down, or nearly lose hope, I always think about my struggle and my strength in making my life happier & granted.

Alhamdullilah for many things happen in my life, I'm still here & I knew Allah is always with me through good & bad times.I have no regret and not even think that was a burden to me.

To console myself and to keep me alive & sane, I've always praise to Allah & pray hard to Him to grant me for a better path.Semoga dipermudahkan seperti selalu. Amin.

Currently I'm into this song. This album was introduced to me by my superior.

Insya - Allah - Maher Zain

Everytime you feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost
That your so alone
All you is see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless
You can`t see which way to go
Don`t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side

Insya Allah3x
Insya Allah you`ll find your way

Everytime you can make one more mistake
You feel you can`t repent
And that its way too late
Your`re so confused,wrong decisions you have made
Haunt your mind and your heart is full of shame


Don`t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side
Insya Allah3x
Insya Allah you`ll find your way
Insya Allah3x
Insya Allah you`ll find your way

Turn to Allah
He`s never far away
Put your trust in Him
Raise your hands and pray
OOO Ya Allah
Guide my steps don`t let me go astray
You`re the only one that showed me the way,
Showed me the way 2x
Insya Allah3x
Insya Allah we`ll find the way

END

Salam Ramadhan Al Mubarak to all my blog readers.
Semoga amal ibadat kita diterima oleh Allah s.w.t.
Sekiranya Ramadhan ini Ramadhan terakhirku, pohon maaf segala kesilapan & halalkan makan minum.

Bala

Masih ada orang Islam yg beranggapan sakit itu adalah bala yang Allah turun pada umatnya.
Hakikatnya sakit yang Allah turunkan itu adalah hadiah yang paling bermakna yg juga menandakan Allah masih ingat dan masih sayang pada kita. Ketika kita sakit inilah kita akan rasa Allah paling dekat dengan kita dan sentiasa bersama kita.

Kita juga perlu ingat Allah turun segala kejadian untuk menunjukkan kesaktian-Nya sebagai pencipta manusia. Allah juga tidak akan menurunkan kejadian sekiranya hambanya tidak kuat untuk menempuhi bencana itu.

Bala sakit adalah sekiranya kita mendapat penyakit dari dosa-dosa dunia seperti berzina, dadah dan lain-lain.

I know you read my blog.
Kalau lah betul sakit itu bala dari Allah, adakah ibumu yang baik mulia jatuh sakit dan ditimpa bala disebabkan perbuatan derhaka anaknya?

Fikirkan.

Let it go..

Ada orang kalau ada masalah, she will keep to herself and like to be alone...


Ada orang, luahkan pada kawan baik, blogging, shopping, karoake...


Ada orang terus sujud pada Allah, minta pertolongan , minta dipermudahkan, minta dilapangkan hati..


Ada orang akan menangis sepuasnya..


Semoga Allah permudahkan jalan Hajjah Jariah..Lapangkanlah hatinya...sejukkan lah hatinya..berikanlah petunjuk padanya..AMIN

The trip to Bangkok

This is our 3rd time spending 4 consecutive days in Bangkok..Dulu departure on Monday, and the next day balik to KL after appointment.

The 1st time when brought Mak along [that time we stayed at Petchaburi] and the 2nd time when we decided to stay longer for Thai Silk hunting [stayed in budget hotel at Sukhumvit].

This time we stayed at Zenith, 2 minutes away from Bumrungrad.

Most of the Zenith customer are Pak Arab from all over the world and they also have Halal restaurant to cater for muslim tourist.

And alhamdullilah, we have halal breakfast all the time.

BUT the internet is so damn expensive, cost is RM55 for 3 hours.

So does their in house spa. Tapi we all pegi kat Soi 11, 1 hour RM30 ajek.

Ada lagi cheaper RM20 per hour tapi kene carik lah..hehe

The room rate we've got is not for Pak Arab & sekutu dengannya and I think they've charged Pak Arab more expensive than us.

Frankly, this is the most successful Bangkok trip.

We went to Old Siam, Central World (saja nak kepoci tengok building terbakar), Siam Paragon , Platinum Mall,(nak pegi 2 kedai ajek itupon kene jugak sms Shareen sebab dah penat cari tak jumpa)..Thank you Shareen, we love you!!

Night street market kat Sukhumvit tuh memang lalu tetiap malam sebab nak pegi balik hotel or makan Tomyam sedap..:D

We all dapat tengok Chinatown (sangat besar) walaupon tak singgah, we saw temple when we are on the way to Old Siam.

We reached at Bumrungrad quite early and we went straight to have alook at their sky lobby.

The ambience of the hospital is just like a 5-star hotel.Padahal tuh dah 12x pegi ni..

They have ample sofa's, beautiful landscape, Starbucks, bookstores..etc.

Dr Amnuay as usual, with his warm welcome asked us to join him in his room.

Earlier, he was with me & Dania in Xray room.

The Xray shows that Dania feet is close to normal feet and her clubfoot dorsiflexion is almost perfect.

Alhamdullilah, Allah answers our prayers and yours too.

Dr Amnuay said we can skip night brace and continue stretching.

But we told him that we will continue since Dania has NO fuss at all.

She even reminded us and asked for the brace.

For her, it is just like her night wear.

My other half is asking me whether I will bring Dania to Bangkok when the treatment is over?

Of course darling, this place has changed our life..:D

Next trip is BALI in October!!!!

Note to myself : Bile nak sampai Old Trafford Balik ni???

When love is fading away..

It happens to everyone...irregardless...

Cinta pada manusia, ia akan mati..

She is one of my closest friend in my day's life.

She used to be happy and cheerful.

She is my pair when we had a gossip session.

No one can predict she will face this heat.

When I got back from my surgery, I noticed that she has changed...

She has been away, she has been sick, she has been quiet..

I did asked her and she said not to worry..

Until recently..

The day that I'm going to take a commuter to KL Sentral,

She had a confession to make..

Things are not as it used to be..

Her world is spinning around and lately she is busy solving the puzzle of her life..

The person that she has trusted and loved for the past 15 years betrayed her..

All happen unexpectedly..

Alhamdullilah she looks okay now..

She is back as normal days..

She is so receptive to what had happen..

She said she need to stand up and hold all tears..

I've prayed very hard for her and her family..

hopefully everything turns well..insya allah.

Lesson to learn : Always be prepared.

Cinta pada Allah, kekal selamanya.

6 months

1st 6 months achievement..

Life - Alhamdullilah..Allah swt still loves me and HE gave me another chance of life..sangat bersyukur and I should be thankful with people surround me who keep on praying..

Career - Stagnant but since 2008, I'm no longer care about my career growth. Asalkan dapat gaji bulan2, bayar bill, bayar rumah & keta..syukur.Eh tak lama lagi mid year review..hehe..

Love - my other half - Stronger as ever ..:p.

Family - Tapi macam dah lama tak makan ramai2 as adik beradik, kan kan? Tahun depan raya, korang raya kat rumah baru kitaorg ok?kita bakar lemang ker? nanti aku buat bilik cantik2..okie dokie..:D..

Financial - Overall semakin cukup2 makan.,PH is officially under my payroll and we got a replacement for Vios.Other half secured another big commitment at Berjaya Park, Seksyen 32 Shah Alam. PH would be our investment asset for Dania & other sibling's (if any) education. Parah nak pikir how much we r going to spend for this house.Luckily no massive renovation is needed and it is already 85% completed.

Target moving in : January 2011.House warming? err depending on budget, but let's target Dania's Birthday party next year..

Health - radiosurgery completed and now waiting for coming December to show the post treatment result. Lain2 kesihatan is ok. Batuk, morning sinus, flu adalah biasa.

Syukur kepadaNYA.. Alhamdulillah

Alisa Amira

Adik Alisa Amira telah kembali ke rahmatullah 22hb June yang lepas.

I'm so speechless..No word came out from my mouth when I hugged Mawar at the funeral.

I thought I was strong enough not to cry during the funeral.
I thought I can hold my tears since my plan is just to meet Mawar & hug her and then proceed to Seri Kembangan for my 11am meeting.
But I failed.
I was crying heavily when I walked into my car.
I felt all tears that I've kept all these long is pouring.
But my chest is still not empty yet.

I just can't help it when I watched few kids which I believe Alisa's cousin were so happy playing together.They don't seem to know what is happening.It is even sad when I've carefully listen to the Imam's prayers.I feel so connected.

This is my 1st experience attending the child funeral.The feeling is so different.I feel more sad because Alisa & me have something in common.We both are sick and we both went through most painful experience in our life.

Mawar,
I'm so sorry I didn't managed to meet Alisa in person when she is still with us..
Allah menyayanginye.Alisa terlalu kecil utk melalui kesakitan ini..
Aku harap ko tabah mengharungi hari2 yang akan datang.

Alisa,
tenanglah kamu disana. Allah lebih menyayangimu.Al-fatihah.

Again, I hate this mode.
But I need to let it go.

I'm more than a Dory

U remember Dory?

Bubbly fish who accompany Nemo's dad in Finding Nemo.

She suffered a short-term memory loss.

It is not easy to be me.

I wanted to be treated as a normal or usual person but sometimes I need special treatment.

I forgot things quite easily.

Post surgery is the worst.

I got confused all the times.

There is one time I reached to this traffic light and I do not even know what the green lights means.Nasib baik takde orang hon.

At home, I can easily turun naik tangga for more than 4-5 times in 5 minutes because I do not know what I should do next.

Sometimes Dania asked me to prepare susu for her, it will takes hours until she said 'Mama buat keje?, nak susu banyak2.'

At work,I did my checklist but when I go through the list I forgot what I need to do with it.

I know maybe some of you will console me by saying that I also forgot things easily, maybe because of age factor, bla bla bla.

There is one of the FB members approached me and she is so damn frustrated that I do not even remember her. She even say that I just acting not to recognise her anymore.Yeah there are some of you that I may not able to recall.Sad to say that you are one of those who has been deleted in my memory.

Not only my friends, my other half sometimes forgot that I had my brain surgery before.

When I forgot things, he didn't believe me at all.

Yeah he treat me as I'm a normal person but technically I am not.

I'm not like this before the surgery.

When I forgot things, my frustration is even greater.

You guys can recall there and then and for me sometimes it took months to recall.

But most of times, I can't trace back.

I got exhausted easily nowdays.Blame it on age factor and but mine is worst.

Some friends asked me to do more exercise, naik tangga pon I can't even hold my breath.

I got dizzy sometimes when I climb up the stairs.

It is not easy, I'm taking my time but sometimes people forgotten..

Busy as a Bee

Been busy...


with work,

with life,

with new achievement,

with travelling,

with everything..


hope I can cope..need to remind myself that I just being given for another chance of life..hope it stays forever and I need to slow down..insya allah, amin..

Me, being a mother

Kalau ikutkan, I'm still wondering macam mana nak jadi the best mother for Dania.
Konon taknak jerit, taknak nak tinggikan suara, taknak marah2 but I can't help it.
A day before I was admitted, Dania ada buat perangai merajuk sampai dia terbalikkan piano bench n accidentally terlanggar meja and jatuhkan air apple atas carpet.
Dah tak pasal kene pukul dengan aku spontaneous kuat gile..:(
Yang bestnye, she didn't merajuk after I hit her pon.
Siap suruh 'Mama, letakkan ubat, badan nyanya sakit kene 'pukung'.
She told her babah, mama boleh 'pukung' nyanya, babah tak boyeh.
Ye, aku sangat garang dengan Dania but dia tak takut pon.

Kalau ikutkan, tengok budak cheeky ni, mcm x sampai hati marah tapi mmg nak kene marah punya lah..

Happy Mother's Day..to all mothers out there who is trying very hard to be as good mother as you can be..

To me, I need to slow down my temper..

Vacation Part 2- The Day

Staff Nurse woke me up at 8.15am, and she said I need to go to Radiology. Yesterday, her colleagues told me the procedure starts at 9am or 10am sebab tuh aku terhegeh lagi ni. Now she said my case is first case pulak.Aduyaii..I've told her to wait with fierce looking face, coz they are the one who caused this miscommunication.She told me 10 minutes ye, puan..then I said, tunggu ajek lah, sibuk nak suruh org cepat. Then bile dah siap dlm 10 mins, takde pon org nak amek. My other half pon dah sampai.At 9am jugak, I've been pushed to G Floor, the nurse actually do not know which is the room that we should go, aku pulak yang tunjukkan, boleh?

Started with Ct-Brain Scan..this time would be with molded mask.The procedure took about 1/2 hour.The room is so cold, I need to lay down exactly as below photo (previous post), and they gave my warm blanket..Then they put the moulded mask, sangat ketat and I don't feel comfortable at the chin part. They re-adjust the chin area. I can breathe as normal,the again adjust my head position and DONE. Oh ya before that, before they put me with the moulded mask, they gave me contrast medicine via the needle.I feel warm at first, later I felt sudden hot inside my brain, and rasa sengal2 at whole part of body. During in the mask, rasa mcm dah nak meletup dah one of the brain vein. Itu baru 15 minutes, can't imagine the 40 minutes treatment.

Reached to my room at 10.30am and now wait for the nurse to call me for the SRS which scheduled at 4pm. One of the radiologist assistant told me their planning would takes longer than the treatment itself since my treatment require high dose and 7x shots need to be accurate. They need to study the tumor position, my head position, and the SRS machine position. Arghh can't wait to get this over.

So at 4.30pm, they called me and wait another few minutes at the cancer centre while waiting for their final touch up. Yeah I didnt see my McDreamy pon. I was ushered to the room, and were asked to sit down first. Waahhh sebijik macam tunjuk Youtube ni..:D..The SRS machine dah macam Transformer as the machine can turn 360`Degree. Dr Alex was there to lead the team.

I hate the mask. It makes my back head painful.I can hear the laser sounds, the sound of machine who was moving around me, I've countdown the shot until the 5th shot, I feel breathless altho I know I'm normally breathing. I was about to raise my hands up after 6th shot as I desperately want to get out from the mask and in need to get up. Rasa lemas sangat and nearly gave up. But I've tried to ishtifar, read all the zikir,trying to make myself to sleep and try to forget about the painful mask. There is one zikir that I've always read to Dania when I'm trying to make her sleep and It works!!

After 7th shot, they removed the mask and assist me to sit up.Wahhh, seronok gile..:D..I told them I want to bring back my mask...:D..It's over!!!

Alhamdullilah with all prayers, wishes and motivational spirit, I went throught this. But the treatment does not end here as the tumor need to be observed every 6 months. Hope it will be shrink and gone forever.

This is my neurosurgeon, his name is Dr Muruga Kumar. He is the most steady doctor that I've ever met. He is confident and he can talk with you with any issues. Pernah jugak we went to 2nd opinion since we thought he did not explain the right thing. Since the 2nd opinion doctor pon telling the same thing, and he also praised Dr Kumar doing a good job for the 1st operation, so we decided to stick to him lah.He was making noise when I took his photo and he said don't put me into your Facebook, I said no lah , I will post it in my blog, and he is just smiled. Alahh he is also in FB and I've found him. He is a doctor with all the latest gadgets.With his Iphone pon he is updated with all news.Last night, we talk about the Radiosurgery facility in Malaysia, talk about FB & Blogging, lastly about his other passion, he loves car. He is driving a Merc, and hates it. I've been asking him to change his Merc to Lexus but he is not confident with second market value. He is thinking to get himself a new Camry (while layan he talking about comfy Altis), and Prius (he is an environmentalist).Since Dr Amnuay has bought a Camry, I will definitely asked my own doctor to buy any of our car.

So folks, actually I do not like to talk on my illness in my blog coz this blog is meant for me to blog on my happy life with Dania, my other half, BFFs, friends, and my family. I hope I will not scare you with any of this story as deep in my heart, I'm also scared to reveal everything. Sebab, kalau baca sure teringat2, so malas. I hate to be weak.

Thank you again for the thought.