6 months

1st 6 months achievement..

Life - Alhamdullilah..Allah swt still loves me and HE gave me another chance of life..sangat bersyukur and I should be thankful with people surround me who keep on praying..

Career - Stagnant but since 2008, I'm no longer care about my career growth. Asalkan dapat gaji bulan2, bayar bill, bayar rumah & keta..syukur.Eh tak lama lagi mid year review..hehe..

Love - my other half - Stronger as ever ..:p.

Family - Tapi macam dah lama tak makan ramai2 as adik beradik, kan kan? Tahun depan raya, korang raya kat rumah baru kitaorg ok?kita bakar lemang ker? nanti aku buat bilik cantik2..okie dokie..:D..

Financial - Overall semakin cukup2 makan.,PH is officially under my payroll and we got a replacement for Vios.Other half secured another big commitment at Berjaya Park, Seksyen 32 Shah Alam. PH would be our investment asset for Dania & other sibling's (if any) education. Parah nak pikir how much we r going to spend for this house.Luckily no massive renovation is needed and it is already 85% completed.

Target moving in : January 2011.House warming? err depending on budget, but let's target Dania's Birthday party next year..

Health - radiosurgery completed and now waiting for coming December to show the post treatment result. Lain2 kesihatan is ok. Batuk, morning sinus, flu adalah biasa.

Syukur kepadaNYA.. Alhamdulillah

Alisa Amira

Adik Alisa Amira telah kembali ke rahmatullah 22hb June yang lepas.

I'm so speechless..No word came out from my mouth when I hugged Mawar at the funeral.

I thought I was strong enough not to cry during the funeral.
I thought I can hold my tears since my plan is just to meet Mawar & hug her and then proceed to Seri Kembangan for my 11am meeting.
But I failed.
I was crying heavily when I walked into my car.
I felt all tears that I've kept all these long is pouring.
But my chest is still not empty yet.

I just can't help it when I watched few kids which I believe Alisa's cousin were so happy playing together.They don't seem to know what is happening.It is even sad when I've carefully listen to the Imam's prayers.I feel so connected.

This is my 1st experience attending the child funeral.The feeling is so different.I feel more sad because Alisa & me have something in common.We both are sick and we both went through most painful experience in our life.

Mawar,
I'm so sorry I didn't managed to meet Alisa in person when she is still with us..
Allah menyayanginye.Alisa terlalu kecil utk melalui kesakitan ini..
Aku harap ko tabah mengharungi hari2 yang akan datang.

Alisa,
tenanglah kamu disana. Allah lebih menyayangimu.Al-fatihah.

Again, I hate this mode.
But I need to let it go.

I'm more than a Dory

U remember Dory?

Bubbly fish who accompany Nemo's dad in Finding Nemo.

She suffered a short-term memory loss.

It is not easy to be me.

I wanted to be treated as a normal or usual person but sometimes I need special treatment.

I forgot things quite easily.

Post surgery is the worst.

I got confused all the times.

There is one time I reached to this traffic light and I do not even know what the green lights means.Nasib baik takde orang hon.

At home, I can easily turun naik tangga for more than 4-5 times in 5 minutes because I do not know what I should do next.

Sometimes Dania asked me to prepare susu for her, it will takes hours until she said 'Mama buat keje?, nak susu banyak2.'

At work,I did my checklist but when I go through the list I forgot what I need to do with it.

I know maybe some of you will console me by saying that I also forgot things easily, maybe because of age factor, bla bla bla.

There is one of the FB members approached me and she is so damn frustrated that I do not even remember her. She even say that I just acting not to recognise her anymore.Yeah there are some of you that I may not able to recall.Sad to say that you are one of those who has been deleted in my memory.

Not only my friends, my other half sometimes forgot that I had my brain surgery before.

When I forgot things, he didn't believe me at all.

Yeah he treat me as I'm a normal person but technically I am not.

I'm not like this before the surgery.

When I forgot things, my frustration is even greater.

You guys can recall there and then and for me sometimes it took months to recall.

But most of times, I can't trace back.

I got exhausted easily nowdays.Blame it on age factor and but mine is worst.

Some friends asked me to do more exercise, naik tangga pon I can't even hold my breath.

I got dizzy sometimes when I climb up the stairs.

It is not easy, I'm taking my time but sometimes people forgotten..

Busy as a Bee

Been busy...


with work,

with life,

with new achievement,

with travelling,

with everything..


hope I can cope..need to remind myself that I just being given for another chance of life..hope it stays forever and I need to slow down..insya allah, amin..