It is not the end of the world..

In life, things are unpredictable..one second you can be happy & laugh, another second you might be cry in tears..

When somethings hit you badly, we got angry and we cursed, we break down & cried and some people commit suicide...on the road pon, if somebody did not give signals for turning, drive like a kura-kura or drive like a F1 driver pon, we'll cursed madly..hehe..

Ironically, when my gynea diagnosed my miscarriages are due to incompetent cervix, I did not cried..when seeing Dania's clubfeet at the first time also, I was puzzled but I did not complaint..Then I was diagnosed with brain tumor and need a emergency surgery,I'm still okay and receptive..

Today when entered Dr Kumar's room, I've told him that I've read the radiologist summary and I knew that there is recurrence..He just smiled but he told me 'i've told u so'...He explained my situation he shows us the brain diagram and where is the tumor located..a ah Dania was there too..betul kata Kak Mas, usually when the mummy is sick, the children will be more matured from their age..She sat still, and listened to our conversation..

The tumor is confirmed slightly growing and it grows at the same location..it grows on the blood vein..The radio surgery may not kill the tumor totally, but it helps to stop and reduce it from growing..since the tumor is still small, the radiation is strong enough to focus on the tumor..Surgery is not possible to remove the tumor since it may grow back unless the blood vein is cut and re-attach..and the patient may get stroke..

So the best option is to opt for radiation and after than I'll be monitored every 6 months with MRI..If another 3-4 years the tumor is not growing after the radiation, it can be confirmed that the tumor is no longer grows..With latest technology in radio surgery, it may not need an equipment to make ur head stay still for the laser shoot..but then the hardware & software is not yet arrived at SJMC ..then if that case, my head will drilled with some paku to make my head stay still..tapi he asked me to remind him next Monday to confirm...aku jugak yg kene remind ker? adusss..Tentatively the radiosurgery will be on 17th Dec..

Both Doctors, Dr Kumar & Dr Zurin told me that the cause of brain tumor is unknown..it not caused of what u've hv eaten. ur lifestyle or whatever..betul jugak tuh takkan 3 months old baby pon ada brain tumor..so nasib2 lah..but I feel so blessed having this illness..

Bosan lah citer pasal brain tumor ni....since yesterday, I heard Dania nanyi 'aku cintaaaa' tapi macam dengar tak dengar..Today she got 2 microphones from McD Happy Meal and she can't stop using the mic and sang all the nursery rhymes...and she happily sang 'Aku Cintaaaa...' depan her Abah..and Abah said, 'lagu apa Dania nanyi ni, abah tak ajar pon..sapa ajar Dania nanyi lagu ni..and Dania replied 'Aisyah'...(Aisyah is one of her friend at nursery)..macam2 budak sekarang ni..:)